She's Really Ours!

I had just picked up our mail from my work place across the street. As I shuffled through the small stack of envelopes, I noticed a lavendar card-like parcel from my mom in Kansas. With Abby's birthday only a day away, I had already surmised, in that milisecond that it takes to deduce certain anticipated circumstances, that this was for her. then something strange happened. I read the name, Abigail Epp. Something about that visual association created an almost supernatural awakening within me: "She's really part of our family!"

After all months of "temporary care giving", a bridge has been made into the realm of permanent placement, a domain that wasn't even on our maps or charts when Abby was initially placed with us. But now, my emotional and paternal phsyce had received a jolt that somehow seemed to breath life into months of hopeful waiting and guarded anticipation. With the adotion a matter of mere formalities now, we are moving from a two year state of tentativeness to a place of settledness regarding Abby's familial future.

"...You won't let them down: orphans won't be orphans forever." --Psalm 10:14 (MSG)

Farm Show

This is Farm Show week in Harrisburg. It's hard to believe that this is Farm Show #5 for us! Abby and Gabe are really enjoying the carousel and milkshakes, they also really enjoyed the kids area that has "corn tables". Lydia likes to shop and enjoyed watching the barrell racing at the rodeo on Sat pm. Katie likes the milkshakes and just getting out and seeing all their is to see. Chris likes the fried mushrooms, sampling hot sauces and watching the kids react to all the activities.

We're planning to return on Friday as we celebrate Abby's 2nd birthday!

Getting our Marriage out of Fairy Tale Mode

Katie and I have recently celebrated 16 years of marriage. To some of you this is just a drop in the bucket, and to others a milestone perhaps. Either way, I trust you will permit us to share a recent (to us) but not new (to many) “aha!” moment that we trust will be an encouragement.

Now mind you, we are no marriage counselors, only two people who have, by God’s grace, remained standing through some of life’s difficult storms. And while our love is deeper and more genuine today than years ago, this love hasn’t come without it’s share of pain, largely due to unrealistic expectations.

"Realize that unrealistic expectations in marriage can lead to disappointment. You shouldn’t lower your standard but do look at marriage in the context of real life, not the fairy tale world that you may have imagined…" (Taken from an e-letter from Family Life Today, 1/3/08)

First of all, Katie and I have discovered the importance of dating again. If nothing else, it gives our marriage the alone time it needs to simply be with each other.

Secondly, we have found that many of our dreamy expectations of how marriage (and family life in the home) should be, have come from movies and stories of our culture that are merely scripted but often not based in the reality of humanness and the propensity to selfishness, and especially not committed to divulging the reality of the transformation process in the midst of life.

In short, we believe in the victory of Christ and the power of the Holy Spirit at work in us, in the midst of our humanity. He comes to us to embrace us right where we are, changing us through the daily struggles and joys of our relationships with each other by the power of His love and Spirit at work in us.

We are free. We need not try to conform to the happily ever-after stories of Hollywood (although our hope is in the ultimate ever-after reality), nor be discouraged when our lives don’t mirror the ‘ideals’ of the stage of our minds.

Only let us be encouraged to submit to one another in love and to trust Jesus to change us, He who has authored our faith and is now perfecting it until the day He returns or we are taken. And let us walk in the forgiveness and patience that Jesus Himself extends to us.

May you be encouraged in your marriage today. And please, if you have any thoughts or response to this message, feel free to send them.

Here are the other points from Family Life:

Don’t settle for the status quo. God wants you to have a dynamic fulfilling marriage, so take steps to reach for that goal.

Read marriage books and attend seminars like the Weekend to Remember marriage conference to find out what a realistic God-honoring marriage looks like. Talk with your spouse about the expectations of marriage each of you has and analyze ways you can improve your relationship using God’s plan for marriage.

Together look for adjustments in your lifestyle that will allow you to work toward meeting those standards.

Plan some fun couple activities—do some of the things you did while dating. They worked then to bring you closer together, and they can work again.

Get involved in activities that will build your marriage. Join a small group like HomeBuilders where you will be encouraged to keep growing in your relationship with your spouse.

Take note of the things you appreciate about your spouse and give thanks and praise often for the everyday tasks that he or she does that make life better for you. It is easy to take these things for granted, but when we express appreciation we add a little dash of spice to our spouses’ day.

Make your marriage your top priority. Schedule date nights and getaways on a regular basis.


Chris

New Year's Top Story

Well, we started the year with some more exciting news in the step by step process that is moving towards Abby's adoption. We just received a call on the 2nd informing us that the County Commissioners had approved Abby's adoption moving forward, and to expect to be back in court to finalize within four to six weeks. Our attorney's on board and everything seems to be in place. Now we just wait to be placed on the judge's docket. Oh, and Abby's birthday is coming up the 11th! What a time to celebrate...some more! Praise the Lord for His faithfulness to Abby!